shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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