we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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