Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
