just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
