Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
