Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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