Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
