oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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