Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
