i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
