I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
