I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
