We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
