I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
