North Korea, Best Korea!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
