the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
