dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
