I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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