i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
