Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i think my cat just said my name.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
