She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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