Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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