i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
