You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
