Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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