apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
