and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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