I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
