I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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