i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
