Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Boobs are out for the taking
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
