he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
