When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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