We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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