Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
