just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
