just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
