it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
