I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
