Just cropdusted the office
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
