remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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