Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
