I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
