the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
