there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
