kristin has been a bad kristin
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
