I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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