Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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