I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
