it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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