I just made out with a guy for $7.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
