she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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