My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I didn't notice because vodka
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
