He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
